At First Glance, There Is Love Snippits, insights into story
by midoriyoroshiku
Summary: Shizuku Mori is a Japanese, 15 year old girl from Tokyo, Japan. Shizuku, at the age of 7, is diagnosed with CLL (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia), having missing school and fighting the disease, she befriends Fuyu Voc's Rebel Playboy - With her gift of 'unnatural' spiritual connections, Shizuku fights this terrible disease whilst dangerously falling in love.


The Truth, Her Condition **Matoko Rennie 20.02.13**

**''Thank you...''**

**Those were the last words I heard from Toni. That is, before he found out all about Shizuku's illness. Striking fear and heartfilled agony drove him towards insanity. Left standing in the pouring rain, his body frozen, set still in the moment. Toni's heart lies with only the worst of thoughts consuming his mind. The solitude smothering his soul. The ice wind blows.**

**For Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia, the survival rate is 82% after cancer is detected, however, there is no cure for CLL. It would be unreasonable to assume that Shizuku was going to die, unless your name is Toni Keiji. Then you most, definetly and truly believe that she is going to die, despite knowing the high survival rates. Toni dug a hole and burried it within his conscience. In complete denial when it came to recieving any positive report on Shizukus health, slowly drowning in his surety that Shizuku was going to die. Injecting the pain in his veins, it wasn't long until the hormones kicked in and the numbness took control. You would have thought it was selfish, the real victem is Shizuku, yet Toni appears to suffer more compared to her. Yes, I know, that in reality, behind closed hospital doors, there is a girl crying, slowly dying inside. But your eyes would decieve you. Shizukus inner strength and sensitivity towards other peoples thoughts and feelings, resulted in her inability to express any negative emotion. Only happiness and sympathy remain. Hearing the cries of another's inner being, sensing the pain which flows through one's body, comes as second nature to her. To save another, hurting herself if a must. **

**When I worked up the courage to go visit Shizuku, I was oblivious to the effect that a hospital visit could potentially have. Thinking it would be a breeze and that everything would be fine, I entered the hospital confidently. The hospital, having nine floors - including the ground floor, is rather tall, with the width resembling a football pitch. It was huge. The hospital was covered in large, freshly clean, sparkly and shiny sindows. This gave a warm and welcoming feeling deep in the pit of your stomach. As an individual, it made me very much at ease and at peace of mind. A very rewarding and comforting state of mind. However, successfully allowing myself to become decieved was one of my biggest mistakes in Toni and I's friendship. Maybe, just maybe, if I was a little more sensitive, understanding and supportive like Shizuku... Then Toni and I would still be close friends.**

**Having checked in at the reception, directed towards a lift and told to take my right when I reached Floor six. I did as I was instructed. The inside of the hospital appeared as beautiful and clean as the outside appearance. Windows gleaming away, iced floors, freshly painted white walls with the odd picture frame of a poppy field as well as the staff photos. The reception desk was marble white - matching the floor and walls - with a glass window that opened and closed whenever required. As I walked towards the lift I entered a hallway where the lighting had somewhat, grown fainter. The hallway was not as attractive as the reception. It had a more sinister, cold and damp feeling, which would make any normal person feel that bit uneasy. The walls had at least a layer of dust, the flooring, footprints scattered, faintly, everywhere. Having realised that my heart was pumping ten times the normal amount of blood around my system, I decided my mind was playing games, and that I must be nervous. After all, I reasoned this was a hospital, and I was here to visit one of my closest friends. As I reached the elevator, the lighting was all of a sudden much brighter, the walls had been painted a more pinky-peachy colour, the room was rather small though... You could maybe fit eight people in it. As the elevator arrived at my floor, and the doors opened, I stepped in and clicked 'Floor 6'. A cold, shard pain struck my chest at the exact same time that a gentle, warm breeze blew my face. The elevator lighting was flashy, a sense of fear started growing in the depths of my stomach, I hated elevators, in fact I'm very claustrophobic. Wasn't it just lucky that nobody was sharing the elevator with me? I guarantee you, World War III would have begun. As the elevator reached the 6th floor, the doors seemed to open in slow motion, I was facing a long hallway, brightly lit, melted snow white, the floors, the ceiling and walls. **

**I carefully made my way down the hallway, for I was not sure of what to expect. Maybe I was being too supersitious, but I just got out of a creepy elevator. Could you really blame me? As I came to the end of the hallway, I struggled to recall which way I was supposed to go. Left or right? I took a right, my gut was screaming down my lungs. That's gut instinct for you. Whilst walking down the hallway, I was passing numerous rooms of cancer patients. Some dying, some surviving. It was heart wretching if I'm honest, I began to imagine how Toni would have felt, being exposed to such an enviroment. The scent of death lingers, as it grabs you by the throat as if trying to drain the life right out of you too. Almost three quaters down the hallway and I noticed a room labelled 'Shizuku Mori'. There was no glass window like the rest of the rooms, which made me feel very much at unease. I began to list questions in my mind. Is something wrong? Has Shizukus illness worsened? Is she dying? Is she having to go through any surgical treatment? I violently shook my head from side to side, '**_**You're being pathetic**_**' I told myself as I slowly held out my hand, shaking like a leaf, I clenched the door handle, twisted the knob and slowly entered. **

**''Shizuku?''**

**I peeped my head inside the room... Nobody was there. I barged into the room, I thought I was going crazy, insane in fact. Where was Shizuku? Wasn't this room hers? Why- but before I could question myself any further, the voice of an old man from behind me, caught my attention. How I was feeling at this moment, was this how Toni felt everytime he came to see her? I couldn't begin to possably imagine to what extent, these emotions were felt by Toni. He was much more alert and sensitive with regards to his own feelings. Attractive to many, but in reality, it's the worst thing to ever life with built into your personality. Being over-sensitive. Turning around to face the man, I could see his lips move, he was talking. It was when his lips stopped moving that I suddenly realised that he was talking to me.**

**''Sorry, Sensei. What was that you were saying?'' I said in the politest way possable.**

**''If you're here to see patient Shizuku Mori, you may follow me. She is in another patients room temporarily.'' Sensei said, whilst displaying the warmest of smiles, holding out his hand, signalling for me to exit the room.**

**As he closed the door behind me, I followed him down the hallway into another patients room, Toni Keiji. When Sensei stopped, he gently, but quickly opened the door. The room was painted a cream colour, the floors were marble white, yet again. There was a hospital bed with a curtain. Two bodies lay on the bed, resting peacefully. Shizuku Mori and Toni Keiji. They were dead, passed away peacefully in each others presence... This was my first thought when seeing this: **_**They're dead**_**. But I was wrong, quietly walking over, two harmonious faces, faced each other. Their chests moving in sync, one hand in the others' hand. Toni was hooked up to an oxygen tank. Shizuku had lost her hair, her skin discoloured. Taking deeper glance at Toni, I realised that for the first time in months, he looked at peace within himself, content and maybe happy. Having only experienced a small particle of what he must have felt, I could only drown in my own guilt and sorrows. Despite it being too late, I now know that there was no slight exaggeration within Toni's actions and over-powering, suffocating, murderous emotions. I should've been a better friend and helped him along the way. To keep him stablised, like I failed to.**

**At times at this, reflection is necessary. Forgive and forget. Learn from your mistakes, experience the emotions now, there and then. Let us be knowledgable and assured that God only takes the best, the greater a second chance, and the unharmed... A much greater, forgiving and everlasting oppertunity. Life is a precious gift. Shizukus life must be of great value, Tonis bravery will serve him well and as for me, I have alot of learning and living to do...**


End file.
